Veggie Hazard!

Careful! Not for Kids!

 

Most product recalls are rather boring and predictable: long strings can strangle, machetes can cause cut, fireworks can cause burns… Every once in awhile though, there is a recall that is pretty much completely nonsensical – and it usually cracks me up.  The latest is a laceration hazard connected to ASPARAGUS.  Oh, noes!  Take the asparagus away from the kiddies!  

Fine, so it’s a toy asparagus and it does have wire.  Still, the summary line in my inbox left out that detail, so as far as I am concerned: We all need to be concerned about asparagus lacerations.   Fortunately, I’m willing to live on the edge for somethings, so I will still be enjoying some pasta with asparagus and goat cheese.  Mmm…Happy Fat Kid. 

Aside: The spinach and egg recalls did not even make me smirk.

Results: Funfetti, Take Two

The ingredients for...

The reason for the delay in results posting is threefold: overworked (me), overtired (me), overfailure (cake).

We determined that I needed to continue this challenge with traditional and legitimate Funfetti. This meant that I had to walk allllllllllll the way to the grocery store to pick up a box.  I used that time to ponder my plan of attack, in which I would attack cake fails and potential food poisoning. 

Book Review: The Nanny Diaries

“Book Review” is probably a generous description, as this is less review and more rant.  It’s not my fault that it’s a poorly-written book.  It is my fault that I read most of it.

I’m a nanny and I like to read.  As such, some people assume I like to read (crappy) books like The Nanny Diaries. Ugh, no.  I tend to read about things like Tudor history, biological weapons, and contemporary politics.  The last three books that I’ve chosen for myself are: Clinton’s Secret Wars: The Evolution of a Commander-in-Chief by Richard T. Sale; Greek Fire, Poison Arrows, and Scorpion Bombs: Biological and Chemical Warfare in the Ancient World by Adrienne Mayor; and The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Recipes from an Accidental Country Girl by Ree Drummond.  The first my dad recommended to me, the second I found via a search (because I am a huge dork), and the third is because I like her website/food.  I’m not opposed to fiction or books about the ins-and-outs of the nanny world; I’m opposed to books that annoy me.

Advisory: ME

Oh.  Wow.

I’m taking a long weekend and the difficulty of getting out of the tundra once again astounds me.  While even-keeled and fact-based, I did have a mildly productive tantrum to my airline.  I’m pretty sure my expectations are reasonable, but the fact that I’m at (read: below) race weight, does call make that questionable.  Seriously though: Being delayed at an airport is bad enough.  It’s eight billion times worse when food and drink are off-limits as methods of procrastination.

In the Fight Against Mosquitoes…I Lose.

Mosquitoes are out of control in the tundra this year.  I am not a huge fan of bug spray, but am using it anyway.  (This is not an environmental stance; I really just abhor the smell…more than the average mosquito.)  Purchasing a “bug band” or other wearable bit is on my to-do list and I’ll report back on its effectiveness.  In addition to the standard mosquito “kisses” on my legs, arms, and feet; I’ve managed to get a huge one on my bum.  (Aside: HOW?!?!?) 

It gets “better” though…because I scratched it…with a jagged nail…and then it bled. 

I miss the frigid weather.

Dissatisfying Food

I have TEH RAGE right now, so decided to do some stress eating.  The following foods are not satisfying for rage-induced stress eating: bananas, yogurt, root beer floats, cheese curds, Wheat Thin crackers.

I need some beef jerky and one of those chocolate oranges that you “whack and unwrap” – GRRRRR!!!!

Street Peddler Avoidance Strategies

It’s the time of year when the other denizens of the tundra and I are able to leave our heated homes to wander amongst the lichen and general renewal of plant life.  All in all, it’s pretty great.  The main drawback is everyone is out, making it hard to walkabout without being accosted by people wanting something from me – generally my vote, my signature (on a petition or a contract), or my money. 

This is a real conundrum for me, and I have to balance my disinterest and wariness of strangers (my pocket has totally been picked and it was NOT fun) with my inherent politeness.  That’s a difficult group to reconcile!  Fortunately, I am both tricky and amazing.  To aid me, I developed a couple of tricks to deal with the most common situations.

sick day fail

Until today I thought it was my stellar work ethic that kept me from taking sick days, although my general decent health probably contributed too.  (This was the second sick day I’ve taken in over 2.5 years.)  Something I learned about myself today, during my many empty hours of self-reflection, is that I am BAD at sick days.  This is entirely different from being bad at being sick (although I’m miserable at that too) and being a troublesome patient (I prefer the term “involved” and I’m very upfront about it).  What I am talking about here is my deficiency at staying at home, in bed, recuperating.  I suck at it.  Suck.  At.  It.

I am pretty sick little monkey.  Part of me is considering staying home again tomorrow or at the very least working a short day, that is pretty low functioning.  (The family I work for is totally supportive of me adjusting “our” day when I need to: participating in naptime, the occasional a/v activity, no-cook lunches, etc.)  Unfortunately, while my physical health would probably (definitely) benefit from another day off, I’m not sure that my mental health can take it.

on second thought…

I’ve reconsidered my last post.  While I still have Teh Rage, I’m actually not okay with a bat in my mouth – even though I would totally spit the head out, pretty much immediately.  It would be gross and bloody and probably give me rabies.   I don’t want rabies.

A CHOCOLATE bat however…

Ozzy’s my homie

Here are some words I never thought I would say on my own behalf: I can totally relate to Ozzy Osbourne.  If I had a bat in my hand RIGHT NOW, I would totally bite its head off.  YARGH.