Baconalia Review: Beef Bacon With Delirium Tremens

beef bacon with delirium tremens

 

Beef bacon is sort of like the East German swim team of bacon.  It’s a bit huskier, a bit hardier, and bit more muscled.  While it’s clearly a cousin of bacon, there’s not much dainty about it and you’d best not offend it in a dark alley.  Whatever though – I am much more interested in eating my bacon than in offending it.  I bought Wellshire Farms beef bacon at my local Whole Foods, so I am sure it is quite ethical.

Unlike turkey bacon, beef bacon renders plenty of fat while cooking.  It cooks down quite a lot actually and I employed some of its fat to get the turkey bacon started.  I totally save my rendered bacon fat (Baconalia 3 Plans!) and found beef bacon fat significantly huskier and muskier than normal bacon.  Since I could tell the difference by smell alone, I did not mix the fats.  What can I say?  I’m a purist of sorts.

Sock Contest: A Trick

clearly he has some nordic heritage

I like clean, although I like the state of clean a lot more than I like the activity of cleaning.  Last Saturday, I invited some friends over for a potluck dinner (more on that another day, probably with pictures).  Unfortunately for me, it’s the time of year of snow and slush and salt and sand; all of which are pretty much hell on my floors.   Just as guests often bring wine or treats, their shoes often bring the quadruple floor assault.  Fortunately for me, my friends are considerate and I am tricky-smart. 

I know I can simply ask people to remove their shoes at the door.  Unfortunately, that is kind of boring and not fun, two adjectives I strive not to have associated with myself.   While I doubt no-shoes-at-my-house is news to any of my buddies, I still like to warn them ahead of time as some of my friends are fancy and coordinated and do things like think about what shoes they ought to wear with an outfit –a nd then actually remember to wear them.  Enter the sock contest.

Product Recall!

I monitor product recalls because it is my job and because I am Major General Safety.  I am going to win the war against stupid; safety is no accident. 

I get the recall notices for pretty much everything (I’m on the general list) and the recalls pertaining to children’s products twice (I’m on that list too).  Today I got a recall for pajamas, by which I mean I got it twice.  Here’s the defective product:

Crock Pot Bread Pudding – Round Two

NKOTB

A couple of weeks ago, I made a sweet bread pudding in my mid-sized crockpot.  One of my friends (Suzy) was aghast that I didn’t include raisins.  I tried to explain to her that I did not include them because I don’t much like raisins in my baked goods* and I do like chocolate in my baked goods and, well, since I was the one making the baked good, I GOT MY WAY.

Some people just have very little sense.  Those same people also don’t always want to hear it.

Toys That Are NOT Fun For Adults – Preschool Edition

I previously pontificated about gifts one might buy for a toddler, that would likely cause the parent(s) to have a tantrum.  Since not everyone (e.g. me) has completed their holiday shopping yet, I thought I’d do another version – this time focusing on what not (or “not”) to buy for the preschool set….

 

Crock Pot Bread Pudding, Recipe and Ramble

These are leftovers, because I forgot to snap a picture during the original eating

The following is part recipe and part confession.  The recipe part is super easy and yields delicious bread pudding.  The confession aspect is more complicated…see, it turns out I am a total nana.  Technically, I’m only nana-like, but if I started a promiscuous line or lived back in, say, Tudor England, I’m technically old enough to be an actual nana.  Like, the sort of nana with grandchildren – the real sort.  In actuality, I have two houseplants (one dead) and neither child nor grandchild.  Scattered throughout this process were moments akin to what a grandmother might do, for which I (cringingly) awarded myself “nana points.”

I’m not exactly sure what compelled me to make bread pudding, but the need was strong.  I’m not even a huge fan of bread pudding and I lack any emotional attachment to it.  Growing up, we rarely had it as my mother classified it as soggy, old bread.  That is a true statement, except you then cook – or crock – the soggy, old bread.  Conveniently, I had a little over one-third of a baguette left over from earlier in the week.  Completely stale, bread pudding or bread crumbs were probably the only practical purposes for it.  If you are keeping track, that’s two nana points: one for bread pudding and one for salvaging old bread.

Toys That Are NOT Fun For Adults – Toddler Edition!



Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat

Please leave a penny in the old man’s hat;

If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do,

If you haven’t got a ha’penny then God Bless You!

 

Christmas is coming…Hanukkah is coming…St. Nick’s Day is coming…basically, a lot days (and series of days) which involve gift giving and gift receiving will soon upon us.  Kids in particular receive a LOT of crap.  Sure, they receive some nice stuff too, but: In my experience, kids get a lot of crap.  Crap that is annoying (to kid and/or others), dangerous, frustrating, fragile, and flat-out soul sucking.  The following is a partial list (based solely on my experience and from my trusted-sources of hearsay) of the most annoying toys.  Ban them from your home and give them to the children of your least-favorite adults!  It boggles me that a market still exists for some of these toys; a lot of shoppers are either passive aggressive or don’t have their own kids.

 

TODDLER EDITION!

Baconalia Review: Praline Bacon with Goose Island Nightstalker Beer

Praline Bacon with Goose Island Nightstalker Beer

 

There’s a shirt out there that proclaims “Bacon is Meat Candy.”  I do not have this shirt, but I do have a recipe for meat candy.  This is it.  Oh my gosh.  This.  Is.  It.  I matched dessert beer with my meat candy and my sweet tooth was sated.    

Praline bacon is wicked easy to make.  It has three ingredients: pecans, brown sugar, and bacon.  While I use a lot of Hormel Black Label bacon, I wanted my bacon to be at least as thick as its candy coating, so opted for sturdier bacon.  I went with the thick cut applewood smoked bacon from my local Trader Joe’s.  The applewood smoked aspect is pretty subtle – especially with the coating – but adds a nuance of, “huh, something about this is extra good.”  Using thicker bacon also made this easier to handle.  Praline bacon CAN be prepared ahead of time and is somewhat shelf stable, although it is best warm.  (Shelf-stable claim based on the fact that mailed some to a friend and he did not get sick after consuming it.)    

Baconalia Review: Bacon-Wrapped Pineapple Chunks with Bruery Hottenroth Sour Ale

bacon-wrapped pineapple chunks with sour ale

Pineapple.  Bacon.  Beer.  This offering involved a trio of independently tasty bits; it was simple, yet strong, in its statement.  My inspiration for this matching was “sweet and sour” ala a (stereo)typical Asian dish, but with a beverage upgrade.

The label bacon-wrapped pineapple is entirely self-descriptive: chunks of pineapple wrapped in strips of bacon.  Personally, I am not a fan of canned pineapple.  I don’t care for its defective taste or texture, especially when fresh pineapple is so superior.  Fortunately, grocery stores in the tundra carry fresh pineapple and I am flat-out amazing at cutting those buggers.  (Using a baller knife helps a lot.)  You probably could use canned pineapple, but you are definitely worth fresh pineapple.

Results: Funfetti, Take Two

The ingredients for...

The reason for the delay in results posting is threefold: overworked (me), overtired (me), overfailure (cake).

We determined that I needed to continue this challenge with traditional and legitimate Funfetti. This meant that I had to walk allllllllllll the way to the grocery store to pick up a box.  I used that time to ponder my plan of attack, in which I would attack cake fails and potential food poisoning.