11
Dec
09

crocking bacon

Crock pots are great; I am of the mindset that pretty much anything can be crocked and view converting the preparation of edibles* not traditionally crocked as a personal challenge. I love bacon and I love crocking; it seemed kismet to combine the two. I would claim that the Baby Jesus wanted me to try it, but that whole Jew-Pork thing would make that statement pretty unbelievable. Whatever, *I* wanted me to try it.

If you don’t already know about crocking (sacrilege!) “crock pot” is technically a brand name,** with the generic term being “slow cooker” – it’s a self-defining term. I was going to slow cook bacon, sort of like the pig-on-a-spit deal, but just a little bit of the pig and sans a spit. I was a little reluctant to put the bacon directly in my ceramic crock insert, because of both the grease/stick factor and also it seemed like a potentially excessive time for bacon to hang out in its own waste. I view crocking as closer to baking bacon than frying it and typically use a broiler pan when baking it. Ergo, I fashioned a rack of sorts from tinfoil.  I’m craftacular and thought outside the crock.

If the goal of this experiment was to see if it is possible to crock bacon – and it was – then my experiment was successful – and it was. However, had my goal been to come up with a better way to prepare bacon, I would have been a sad little monkey, if for no other reason than I hate to lose. In chronological order, here are some issues with crocking bacon:

 1.) Slow cooking is exactly that: SLOW cooking. Prepared via this method, there were two torturous hours of smelling delicious, but probably still riddled with trichinosis, bacon cooking.

2.) The only efficiency is energy efficiency. (Not to belittle saving the big blue ball, but that will be a different post.)  While brilliant and resourceful, my foil rack really limited the amount of bacon I was able to prepare. It did not even begin to approach a standard-me-sized serving. While I do own multiple crock pots, even I think that simultaneously using all of them for bacon would land squarely in the realm of “Things That Are Not Okay” – and I’m okay with most things that end with me eating delicious, delicious bacon.

3.) The resulting texture wasn’t great; it was way too floppy. I did still eat and enjoy all of it, but I’ve had better. It is possible that additional cooking time might have remedied this, but seriously: the cooking time was already excessive. 

I still think crock pots are great and will continue to give them as gifts.  However, while it is possible to crock bacon without risk of food poisoning, I will merely say that the crock pot is better suited to other foods…and maybe non-foods…hmm…

*Ooh!  Or inedibles…

**Meaning it’s also technically “Crock Pot”

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