28
Dec
09

Reflections on Christmas Present (Abridged)

While Southwest does advertise that “bags fly free,” their promise stops there – shy of “and on the same flight” or even “and on the same day!”  This is for a reason.

Relative to other airlines, I found it necessary to get “firmer” with Southwest to “resolve” my baggage issue.

According to Southwest baggage minions, around 50% of their misplaced luggage involves an airport I often use.  

If checking two bags, it is inevitable that the one with shoes and presents (that you don’t need for two days) will get through immediately, while the one with wine and clean underoos will be lost for a couple of days.  Inevitable.

“I only have the jeans and t-shit I am wearing” is not a valid excuse to either skip church or dress without respect for God.  It does however win you a shopping trip…to Honey’s Sportswear.

Honey’s Sportswear does not carry much for petites.

There is no safety zone with regard to parental questions concerning children, a spouse, and my complete lack thereof.  Drive home from the airport.  DRIVE HOME FROM THE AIRPORT AFTER THE LONGEST SUBWAY RIDE EVER AND A DELAYED FLIGHT.

All of parents’ friends have grandchildren.  Why don’t I love them enough to pop out a few offspring?

You can put a group of Lutherans in a Presbyterian church, but they will still sing in four-part harmony.  Part is determined not by actual range, but by what a person’s parent sang: Ergo, while technically a mezzo, I sing alto. Why?  Because my mom sang alto.

In a Presbyterian church, regardless of actual range, 95% of the women sing soprano.  The other 5% are ethnic Lutherans raised by mothers who sang alto.

Not to be prideful, but the Lutherans really have the singing down.  We view it as just another way to praise God.

It might be 2009, almost 2010, but my dad is still asking me to teach him how to use his VCR.

Stucco homes can burn.  Holy smokes.  Literally.

I have become a person who separates “trash” from “recyclable” as I unwrap my presents. 

It is everybody’s job to remember where we park, but mostly mine.

My dad and I mutually agreed that if he joins facebook we will not be facebook friends.  A number of my friends have struggled with this (um, hello – filters.) and I am happy to avoid it.

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1 Response to “Reflections on Christmas Present (Abridged)”


  1. 1 Kate
    January 6, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    Thankfully, I’m Catholic. We don’t sing. We might mumble or hum. To boot, I go to a closed church. The Archdioses closed it about 5 years ago and my bitter neighborhs held 24 hour vigil for about 4 years. Now, they leave it most nights since they know the Church likely won’t F&@* with them. I know I wouldn’t…. those 80 year old Italian women are not to be triffled with. Anyway, we do get anywhere from 30-70 people to attend the service (said by a eucharistic minister, so its not a mass) each Sunday, which kicks the crap out of attendance at the open Church down the street. Holy Redeemer, the church a bit further away, attracts a south american crowd and is standing room only. My cousin Tom is the priest there (yup, can’t even move to an Italian/Elsalvadoran neighborhood and get away from my family). But I still go to the closed Church. The service is said in Italian and it feels very exotic. But still, no singing.


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