Fortunately, Unfortunately

Fortunately, the weather accommodates my sleeping with my windows open.

Unfortunately, I don’t live in a weather bubble and my neighbors also find al fresco sleeping to be a delightful option.

Fortunately, most of my neighbors are considerate.

Unfortunately, I wrote “most of” before considerate…there’s always that one.

Fortunately, that one is a pianist – versus, say, a bagpiper or member of a heavy metal band.

Unfortunately, he is not a very good pianist.

Fortunately, he is practicing.

Unfortunately, he is under the impression that the wee hours are a great time to practice…with his windows wiiiiiiiiiiiiiide open.

Fortunately, he plays mostly classical music, which I generally like and find soothing.

Unfortunately, he only plays a couple of measures at a time…and sometimes only one hand…for extended periods…which I neither like nor find soothing.

Fortunately, I am very good at sleeping.

Unfortunately, I am not that good at sleeping.

Fortunately, I have the “chutzpah” to politely stand up for my sleep.

Unfortunately, the culprit lives in the building next to mine, to which I do not have access, and I am not the scream-across-the-world-sort.

Fortunately, I own a strong megaphone/bullhorn.

After almost an hour of post-midnight music, I got out my megaphone.  I was well aware of where the piano and its player were located – in addition to not shutting his window, he also did not draw his window treatments.  I turned off my lights and waited a few moments – stealth and ninja, etc.  I then mustered up a very official and authoritative tone of voice, initiated the power trigger, and aimed my speaker toward the offending window: “Pianist.  Please shut your window.  It is late and you are loud.”

Boom.  That was his window, which he promptly shut.  He spent a couple more minutes at his instrument and then he joined the rest of us in sleep.

And we all lived happily ever after.  The End!


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