Toys That Are NOT Fun For Adults – Preschool Edition

I previously pontificated about gifts one might buy for a toddler, that would likely cause the parent(s) to have a tantrum.  Since not everyone (e.g. me) has completed their holiday shopping yet, I thought I’d do another version – this time focusing on what not (or “not”) to buy for the preschool set….


Smart Cycle Racer: What Are You Juding?

 Okay, I’ve never actually seen this toy outside of a box in a store, but that indicates something to me…that it shouldn’t leave a box in a store.  From what I can gather, it’s telling someone that their kid is fat and watches too much tv, so…here’s a way for their kid to watch more tv, while at least getting some physical activity.  Too many hot button issues: childhood obesity, judging of child as inactive/overactive, and then that whole tv thing.  Clearly this is a gift that keeps on giving.


Ahhh, Moon Sand: A step cooler and a step more annoying than Play-Doh, which earned accolades in the toddler segment.  On the surface, the concept is awesome: clean, moldable sand that never dries out.  Under the surface, it’s hard to sweep up, it’s difficult to vacuum up, it lingers under fingernails, etc.  Basically, it gets everywhere and never leaves.  Real sand might be full of disgusting, but at least it washes off, brushes off, and vacuums up readily.  Moon sand might be acceptable as an outside toy, although preferably as an outside toy at Grandma’s house.  Sadly, it is marketed as an inside toy and it takes a lot of convincing to move it outside. 

GUNS (or germs and steel)

I don’t personally have a problem with toy guns, as I think they can play a role in imaginative play and also offer an opportunity to discuss guns, their proper usage and their potential hazards and consequences.  However, I’d advise against giving guns as a gift without parental consent as some folks would rather their kids not play with guns. 


In addition to making guns, a number of toy makers (e.g. Nerf) make other weapons, such as crossbows and battle maces.  People.  See above.  While some anti-gun parents might be okay with bullet-free weapons, you need to ask them to know.  And honestly?  There are some pretty nasty things that can be done with arrows and poison.  I read that book.


Ugh.  Tub paints also go in this category.  This toy could have been included in the toddler section, but I’m throwing to the preschoolers as they are taller and more stable, meaning they can cover a greater percentage of tub and tile.  They can also press harder, which results in a need to scrub harder to remove the arte de bath.  There is plenty of time for art during the day; it does not need to extend to bathtime.  Seriously, if you think scrubbing off mildew is bad, try these puppies. 


Ideally, this gift would be given to a child who lives in a small condo – say 500 square feet.  It’s big.  It’s awkward.  Think of all of the things most kids like to do with their dolls…and then imagine they doing those things with a doll their size and close to one-quarter of their weight…it’s a lot less fun.

Please consider using the above information and opinions only for good.


2 Responses to “Toys That Are NOT Fun For Adults – Preschool Edition”

  1. 1 kb
    December 22, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    See http://www.avclub.com/articles/cheapest-toy-roundup-the-alldollarstore-edition,49289/1/ for some other great crappy toy ideas. One of my coworkers said her boyfriend suggested a $20 limit on their Christmas exchange, so we’ve been using this website to help her pick out her gifts. :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Present Pontifications

December 2010
« Nov   Jan »

Past Pontifications

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2 other followers


%d bloggers like this: