Baconalia Review: Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies with Great Lakes Porter

Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies with Great Lakes Porter

Bacon and chocolate chip cookies with a nice, rich porter. ..sounds like dessert to my face!  I’m currently in the midst of planning a bacon party that (at this point) will focus entirely on baked goods.  For whatever reason, I’m actually trying the recipes ahead of time this round.  Perhaps I am growing up and becoming more responsible or perhaps I just really like to bake and post cookies to friends.  Regardless of the present and the future, these cookies were the first cookies of my bacon cookie past.  These cookies predate my whole “Baconalia” concept and I got the recipe from a friend, rather than from the internet.  Seriously.   The first time I made these cookies I was completely unaware of the internet’s boundless infatuation with bacon.

Baconalia Review: Beef Bacon With Delirium Tremens

beef bacon with delirium tremens

 

Beef bacon is sort of like the East German swim team of bacon.  It’s a bit huskier, a bit hardier, and bit more muscled.  While it’s clearly a cousin of bacon, there’s not much dainty about it and you’d best not offend it in a dark alley.  Whatever though – I am much more interested in eating my bacon than in offending it.  I bought Wellshire Farms beef bacon at my local Whole Foods, so I am sure it is quite ethical.

Unlike turkey bacon, beef bacon renders plenty of fat while cooking.  It cooks down quite a lot actually and I employed some of its fat to get the turkey bacon started.  I totally save my rendered bacon fat (Baconalia 3 Plans!) and found beef bacon fat significantly huskier and muskier than normal bacon.  Since I could tell the difference by smell alone, I did not mix the fats.  What can I say?  I’m a purist of sorts.

Baconalia II Review: Turkey Bacon with Lindeman’s Framboise Lambic

Turkey Bacon with Lindemans Framboise Lambic

One of my long-standing beliefs is that people who claim “turkey bacon is just as good as pork bacon” probably don’t eat much pork bacon.  (Henceforth, pork bacon will be referred to merely as bacon.  Because it is.)  I paired turkey bacon with Lindeman’s Framboise Lambic, a Belgian fruit beer.  Thanksgiving inspired this pairing, hence why I’m posting it now.  I know cranberries are the traditional Thanksgiving fruit, but I think this is a better beer and using the terminology “inspired” allows me a fair bit of leeway for play and fun – both vital to a successful Baconalia.

Bacon Yields Free (Admission to Buy Overpriced) Beer

I love hosting Baconalia parties, but the prepwork leaves a bit to be desired – predominately because it pretty much all takes place immediately before the party.  In addition to that being annoying and kinda stressful, it leaves me and my kitchen greasy and gross.   (Aside: I’m not sure which I’m more bothered by people seeing greasy and gross.)  Anyway!  I’ve been playing around a bit with bacon baked goods.   Last week I made some bacon-fat ginger snaps; the recipe and photos will eventually follow.   The positive and negative of this is that I end up with a fair amount of bacon-based baked goods.  When I know how much bacon fat is in each cookie (it’s around 1t) it is less-than-appealing to gorge on a dozen in one sitting.  That dozen cookies contains 1/4c of bacon fat.  At present my blood pressure and cholesterol are fantastic; I’d like to keep that way at least until I hit 35.

Baconalia Review: Praline Bacon with Goose Island Nightstalker Beer

Praline Bacon with Goose Island Nightstalker Beer

 

There’s a shirt out there that proclaims “Bacon is Meat Candy.”  I do not have this shirt, but I do have a recipe for meat candy.  This is it.  Oh my gosh.  This.  Is.  It.  I matched dessert beer with my meat candy and my sweet tooth was sated.    

Praline bacon is wicked easy to make.  It has three ingredients: pecans, brown sugar, and bacon.  While I use a lot of Hormel Black Label bacon, I wanted my bacon to be at least as thick as its candy coating, so opted for sturdier bacon.  I went with the thick cut applewood smoked bacon from my local Trader Joe’s.  The applewood smoked aspect is pretty subtle – especially with the coating – but adds a nuance of, “huh, something about this is extra good.”  Using thicker bacon also made this easier to handle.  Praline bacon CAN be prepared ahead of time and is somewhat shelf stable, although it is best warm.  (Shelf-stable claim based on the fact that mailed some to a friend and he did not get sick after consuming it.)    

Baconalia Review: Bacon-Wrapped Pineapple Chunks with Bruery Hottenroth Sour Ale

bacon-wrapped pineapple chunks with sour ale

Pineapple.  Bacon.  Beer.  This offering involved a trio of independently tasty bits; it was simple, yet strong, in its statement.  My inspiration for this matching was “sweet and sour” ala a (stereo)typical Asian dish, but with a beverage upgrade.

The label bacon-wrapped pineapple is entirely self-descriptive: chunks of pineapple wrapped in strips of bacon.  Personally, I am not a fan of canned pineapple.  I don’t care for its defective taste or texture, especially when fresh pineapple is so superior.  Fortunately, grocery stores in the tundra carry fresh pineapple and I am flat-out amazing at cutting those buggers.  (Using a baller knife helps a lot.)  You probably could use canned pineapple, but you are definitely worth fresh pineapple.

Baconalia Review: Bacon-Wrapped Tater Tots with Cheese Dipping Sauce and Coors Light

Bacon-Wrapped Tater Tots with Coors Light

Baconalia inherently is a heart attack risk increaser.  However, I raised the bar – and my cholesterol – with this offering: bacon-wrapped tater tots with cheese dipping sauce.  Some things are worth the risk; these own that category.  When I first heard of the idea, I knew it was likely to be a BIG winner. 

Baconalia! Review: Dry-Rubbed Black Pepper Bacon with Sam Adams Chocolate Bock

I’ve been slacking with the Baconalia! reviews.  The last time I managed one, I pretty much just grumped about my distaste for pepper beer. (It’s gross.  Therefore, I DIS its TASTE.)   While I may not – and I do not – care for pepper in my beer, I am a big fan of it on my bacon.

I played with my pepper cracker and bacon when I made the maple-basted bacon with freshly cracked black pepper.  The general consensus among my self and my guests was that the bacon with pepper and maple totally trumped this one, but this one, this dry-rubbed natural black pepper coated bacon has its own trump card: it’s prepackaged and ready to cook or fry.  It’s hands off, until you need your hands to eat it.  That’s how I like my meat: easy.

Baconalia Review: Maple-Basted Bacon with Freshly Cracked Black Pepper and Tyranena Beer

Maple-basted bacon with freshly cracked black pepper received the most votes for ‘favorite bacon’ at Baconalia!  My working hypothesis is because it was so dang tasty.  I paired it with Tyranena’s Benji’s Chipotle Smoked Imperial Porter, which only seemed like a good idea.  See, it’s an imperial porter, and I thought the bitter of the coffee would complement the sweet of the syrup.  Chocolate never hurts.  As a bonus, this beer advertised that it had some (chipotle) pepper in it, to give it a bit of a kick; that was the same reasoning behind my cracking black pepper over my bacon!  I felt a certain kinship with the brewers.  While I did not take an official beer vote, I am pretty sure that this would have come in dead last – behind Labatt, even.  See, I bought a four-pack of this, which yielded me sixty-four ounces of gross beer.  Since it’s a tasting, everyone gets a glass and then you sort of pour as you go/desire, also rinsing as you go/desire.  More bottles are opened as we go/desire.  As we went, nobody really desired this one; the total consumption averaged less than one ounce per person, meaning I was left with three bottles of this guck.  I tried it a second time, thinking maybe the situation and pairing was what made it bad.  It wasn’t; I poured it down the drain. 

NOTE TO MY FATHER: Please note that as I did not like the beer, I threw it away.  I only drink things I like. 

All right, so we’ve established that the bacon was amazing and the beer was awful.  Let’s delve a bit deeper into the why.  With regard to amount and frequency that I baste and crack, I follow my heart versus any specific standards.  This means I make it with love; there is nothing that tastes better than love.  I also am a bit of a syrup snob, so totally use the good stuff – pure maple syrup versus maple-flavored product.  The only good thing about maple-inspired sticky product is some of the commercials.  They are very heartwarming and I often feel like I can relate is they frequently take place in the tundra.  Anyway, because of my spot-on instincts, this sticky bacon was just the right combination of sweet and salty, with a hint of a kick from the pepper.  It didn’t hurt that it was shiny and pretty. 

Baconalia! Review: Bacon-Wrapped Asparagus Bundles with Brooklyn Brewery East IPA

Uncooked Bacon-Wrapped Asparagus Bundles

As a nanny and someone with a lot of “opinions” about food, I wanted to make sure that all food groups were represented at Baconalia!.  Some of my friends hold nutritional opinions and dietary standards/habits that leave A LOT to be desired – where “a lot” means “a lot of vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients.” Sadly, their nitrate and nitrite levels probably were already more than satisfied.  Beyond the obvious protein and sodium, I committed to Baconalia! being something of an example of healthful eating.  I needed color.  I needed green.  I needed ASPARAGUS.

Let’s put it out there: asparagus is delicious.  It also has a novelty factor as a party food, due to that whole pee thing.  It wasn’t until recently that I learned about the genetics and percentages behind that.  For some reason, almost all of my friends produce the odor and are able to smell it.  Apparently I associate with a group of sensitive overachievers.  We do what we can.  That’s more than enough about asparagus pee (although I do have more), so we now return to our regularly scheduled bacon and beer review.