Winter Survival Tip #3

One of my best winter survival tricks for tundra living is quite simple: leave.  Get out.  Go somewhere, preferably warm and sunny, but at the very least somewhere else.  Winter is a great time for visits of obligation; it’s a better time for fun vacations, but sometimes a body needs to work within certain restrictions.  A required family trip to your mismatched Nader’s Raider aunt and “Romney is too liberal” bellowing uncle might not be the most pleasant experience, but if they live in Florida, it is a lot more pleasant if you can couple the visit to them with one to some sunshine and temperatures above freezing.  Ideally you can take a week or weekend for fun – cheer on your team at a spring training baseball game, watch the whales migrate in Cabo, surf in Hawaii – but sometimes it is necessary to be a bit practical.  Vitamin D is a practical need; if only I could get my insurance to let me apply airfare to my deductible.

Besides the benefit of a break from snow and ice, taking a break from the tundra also gives you something to look forward to…regardless of the weather here, I will not have to scrape ice off my car to go to work next Monday – I won’t be near my car and I’m not going to work!  Win.  It’s a mental, physical, and emotional break and it is necessary.

So!  Tundra.  You are on notice.  If you are not significantly warmer and sunnier, preferably with longer days, by Thursday  I AM LEAVING.  One of us has to make a change; I accept that it will likely be me.

 

Cold Weather Survival Tip: Kids and Cold

Single-digit weather is not the perkiest extended forecast.  I get chronic cabin fever and my usual winter fun activities are less fun – and at a certain point unsafe – when the temperatures plummet.  Most children share that afflication with me, but there’s a point at which I suspect staying inside with the kids becomes more dangerous than streaking in -80F temps would be.  Thankfully, my extended forecast isn’t that miserable, but the next few days are more than cold enough.  Thankfully #2, I’m not working this weekend, so only have one day of ubercold to strategize.  Here are ten tips to beat the cold and the crazies from/with the kids

Winter Survival Tip #1

I live in the tundra, where winters are long, cold, and harsh.  The lack of daylight, biting winds, and frigid temperatures are hard on both my complexion and my emotional state.  One of my former coaches would likely refer to this extended season as “an exercise in mental toughness.”  However, always lived in places where I spend way more on snowboots than swimsuits and scarves are for function versus fashion.  I believe this makes me qualified to dole out some advice – a WINTER SURVIVAL TIP, likely the first of many I will share.  Let me be your “Get Through This Guru.”

This week’s weather report for my zip code is rather depressing.  Basically, if at any point, I walk outside with wet hair, my hair will freeze.  This does not put me in my happy place.  This puts me in a place where I question why I do not own a hairdryer and potentially puts me in a place that sells hairdryers.*   I tell myself this also means I could totally flood my backyard and go ice skating; but I also need a bit more. 

Effective ICE Contacts

My family bought our first cell phone – “for the family” – in the early 1990s.   It was roughly the size of our smaller cat; the battery alone outweighs my current phone.  And actually using that original cell phone?  Emergencies only!  Quick emergencies only!  Quite the opposite of my current life, in which my phone is where I check and send emails and text messages, find recipes online while at the grocery store, ask “The Goog” pressing questions, get directions, play games, study for the GRE, and yes, make the occasional call.  Despite all of its fancy tricks, emergency calls remain its most basic and most important function. 

 

I’m going to try not to get overly dramatic, but the most important thing your cell phone can do is aid you in an emergency.  Whether it’s a life-saving call to 911 or a call to a contact during a rough situation or medical info stored in notes; your cell phone can help big time.  If you do not already have an ICE (In Case of Emergency) contact stored in your phone, do it.  Do it now. 

Five Good Things

1.) I love to sleep in; I’m naturally a night person.  (Ask me how that works with rowing.)  Falling back over the weekend was fantastic and I am still enjoying that extra hour of sleep.  As a special bonus, the kiddos received the memo about the time change and made the shift flawlessly.

2.) My dinner tonight consisted of mulled wine, cheese, and ice cream.   This is okay because I am a grown-up adult and can do whatever I want.  Whatever, my bloodwork is fantastic.  I’m more likely to die because I did a bad job crossing the street (the drivers of the tundra are le horrid) than due to severe scurvy.  (How bad does scurvy have to get to be fatal?)

3.) Not only did my tuberculosis clear up, but it’s nice enough to go outside and enjoy my recovered lung capacity!   It’s pretty much our third Indian Summer and I am not complaining.

4.) Later this week, some of my friends and I are going to improv.  The concept?  Personal ads and missed connections from craigslist.  Can’t wait. 

5.) Scrabble is on sale at Toys R Us and there is a rebate on it from Hasbro.  I’m totally hosting a Scrabble Tournament this winter (with bracket) so took advantage of this one.

Five Good Things!

1.) This week’s five good things comes from New York.  I was able to combine my funemployment with a national holiday and have been having a lovely time with some old friends.

2.) As part of #1, I got to know their new(er) puppy, who is FANTASTIC and quite possibly my favorite dog.

3.) I was offered a job that I am interested in.   I’m going to discuss logistics on Thursday, hopefully resulting in a match.

4.) One of my friends made me a HUGE bag snacks for my long drive back to the tundra tomorrow.  I’m not looking forward to the drive, but I am looking forward to the snacks.

5.) Despite my initial plan to drive home via Canada, I received a better offer to meet up with a friend in Toledo, so get to see a BONUS BUDDY.  I really loathe driving through Ohio, but this will likely make it all right.

Crockpot Funfetti…Take Two

I am pretty much incapable of turning down a personal challenge.  I am completely incapable of shying away from a personal challenge that I KNOW I CAN WIN. This is one of those.  The other night (Thursday) I invited two of my friends, Brooke and Ben over for dinner.  The plan was to grill, a chore which I pretty much immediately thrust upon Ben.  It isn’t that I don’t know how to grill, rather it was that I was feeling particularly lazy and it was muggy and buggy outside.  By “delegating” the role of grillmaster, I enabled myself to sit far from the hot grill and close to the citronella candle. 

While burning our food, Ben told me he didn’t think it was possible – for me or anyone – to make a Funfetti™ cake in a crockpot.  Um, hello.  CROCKPOTS CAN DO ANYTHING!!!  (Except maybe ice cream.)  Despite the fact that Benners burned the beejeebees out of dinner, I still felt obligated to respond to his challenge.  (Face-saving aside: Ben usually does an excellent job.  This is the sole miss I know of in his culinary life and his mixology record remains spotless.)

Dog Biscuits

In anticipation of my Puppy Weekend, I started looking at recipes for dog biscuits.  (+100 Nanny Points for me.)  As I read the reviews, I’m stunned at the number of people who try them.  Ew.  I mean, maybe* the ones that are basically dog-safe human food (i.e. the ingredients are honey, oat, peanut butter, and egg) but the ones with jarred beef baby “food”** or boullion bits?   Yuck.  Dog biscuits, people, DOG bsicuits.

*But still probably not.

**I find most jarred baby food rather gross, especially the meats.  I typically “suggest” to parents that it would be a good use of my time for me to prepare (and freeze) at least some of their baby’s food.  I understand that not everyone has this luxury or time.

Resolved: Time > Novelty

The next Baconalia! is fast approaching.  Have you RSVP’ed?  In addition to offering a make-and-take craft opportunity at Baconalia II I also decided that we needed a PARTY GAME.  You know, because we’re clearly twelve.   Thus, enter THE PIGGYATA.  As per the norm, ‘piggyata’ is a term that I’m pretty sure I made up.*  It’s a pig pinata, which I am going to fill with bacon and pig themed treats.  Well, as much as I can.  I realized after totally committing to the plan that bacon isn’t exactly the ideal pinata filler, so I branched out to include pig stuff and well, there will probably be a late run to the corner store for some mini Snickers.  I’ll make it work.

Initially I was considering making my own piggyata, out of balloons and papier mache.  I’d paint it, give it a snout with a dixie cup, some google eyes, a pipecleaner tail, etc.  Then, ha-ha, I sure reconsidered that.   Um, I’m recommitting to supporting America’s economy.

*Piggyata(TM) ?

Fashion Sense

Man, oh man, do I want this shirt:

Raptor Shirt: NomNomNom

 Seriously, I think it’s pretty sweet and I’ve been meaning to wear more green.  I could wear it to work AND afterwork.  Imagine:

“Boo, please help pick up your trains…OR MY ARMS WILL CHOMP YOU.”   Seriously, forget that 1-2-3 Magic and timeout biznass.  Chomping.

Or…

“Boo, Raptor says: EAT YOUR VEGGIES OR I WILL EAT YOU RARRRRRRR.”

I can see some real workday potential.  Like, I-could-probably-claim-it-on-my-taxes-as-a-business-expense potential. 

Or for after hours…

“What do you mean you are out of playoff tickets?  Is it because I am a raptor?  Do you have some sort of raptor-discrimination policy?  I don’t see anything posted prohibiting raptors…”

And a woman’s gotta eat…

“Oh, is that the last slider on the buffet?  Note that I am a raptor and a hungry raptor is not a good thing.  Perhaps you should head over to the edamame.”

Really my only debate is what size to get.