Currently Reading…

One of the great things about my job is that it allows me a fair amount of “my choice” reading time – on the clock.  Because I’m a huge dork, I’m currently reading (yet another) book about Tudor England: The Children of Henry VIII by Alison Weir.  Yesterday, I got sidetracked and did not put my book away before getting the peanut up from her nap.  (Aside: Really glad I’m a huge dork.)

Ever aware, Peanut spotted it and asked me what was on her coffee table.  I make it a point to be as honest as possible with the kids, but also know my audience, so simplified my answer.  “That is the book I am reading.  It is about those two girls, who are princesses, and their brother, who is a prince.  The other girl is their cousin.”

one prince, two princesses, and their cousin

Peanut nodded and moved on to her own books…which just so happen to also about princes and princesses.   D’oh.  Whatever.  My prince, princesses, and their cousin are cooler.

Aside #2: I am aware that Jane Grey was the grandniece, not child, of Henry VIII and her inclusion on the cover bothers me.

Cold Weather Survival Tip: Kids and Cold

Single-digit weather is not the perkiest extended forecast.  I get chronic cabin fever and my usual winter fun activities are less fun – and at a certain point unsafe – when the temperatures plummet.  Most children share that afflication with me, but there’s a point at which I suspect staying inside with the kids becomes more dangerous than streaking in -80F temps would be.  Thankfully, my extended forecast isn’t that miserable, but the next few days are more than cold enough.  Thankfully #2, I’m not working this weekend, so only have one day of ubercold to strategize.  Here are ten tips to beat the cold and the crazies from/with the kids

Five Good Things

1.) My college friends and I had our tenth anniversary Christmas celebration.  While I wish I got to see them more often, but I’m glad we have a standing, annual reunion.  (And we’re totally going to submit a picture to our alum magazine.  We’re aging well.)

2.) I get to see my old nanny kids today!  They are wonderful and amazing, probably because those same adjectives apply to their parents.  It’s on the way to my family’s Christmas location, so I’m spending a couple of days with them first.

3.) I get to see some of my family for Christmas!  While we are going to have to call those that cannot make it, the group of us that will be together should have a blast.

4.) Family Christmas is being held in a much, much warmer state than the tundra.  Like, I-packed-a-different-jacket warmer.

5.) While I rarely check suitcases, the length and climates of this trip (along   with the packed gifts) required me to do so.  My suitcase?  It weighs 49lbs.  (There’s an additional charge for exceeding 50lbs.)

Toys That Are NOT Fun For Adults – Preschool Edition

I previously pontificated about gifts one might buy for a toddler, that would likely cause the parent(s) to have a tantrum.  Since not everyone (e.g. me) has completed their holiday shopping yet, I thought I’d do another version – this time focusing on what not (or “not”) to buy for the preschool set….

 

Toys That Are NOT Fun For Adults – Toddler Edition!



Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat

Please leave a penny in the old man’s hat;

If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do,

If you haven’t got a ha’penny then God Bless You!

 

Christmas is coming…Hanukkah is coming…St. Nick’s Day is coming…basically, a lot days (and series of days) which involve gift giving and gift receiving will soon upon us.  Kids in particular receive a LOT of crap.  Sure, they receive some nice stuff too, but: In my experience, kids get a lot of crap.  Crap that is annoying (to kid and/or others), dangerous, frustrating, fragile, and flat-out soul sucking.  The following is a partial list (based solely on my experience and from my trusted-sources of hearsay) of the most annoying toys.  Ban them from your home and give them to the children of your least-favorite adults!  It boggles me that a market still exists for some of these toys; a lot of shoppers are either passive aggressive or don’t have their own kids.

 

TODDLER EDITION!

Five Good Things

1.) I love to sleep in; I’m naturally a night person.  (Ask me how that works with rowing.)  Falling back over the weekend was fantastic and I am still enjoying that extra hour of sleep.  As a special bonus, the kiddos received the memo about the time change and made the shift flawlessly.

2.) My dinner tonight consisted of mulled wine, cheese, and ice cream.   This is okay because I am a grown-up adult and can do whatever I want.  Whatever, my bloodwork is fantastic.  I’m more likely to die because I did a bad job crossing the street (the drivers of the tundra are le horrid) than due to severe scurvy.  (How bad does scurvy have to get to be fatal?)

3.) Not only did my tuberculosis clear up, but it’s nice enough to go outside and enjoy my recovered lung capacity!   It’s pretty much our third Indian Summer and I am not complaining.

4.) Later this week, some of my friends and I are going to improv.  The concept?  Personal ads and missed connections from craigslist.  Can’t wait. 

5.) Scrabble is on sale at Toys R Us and there is a rebate on it from Hasbro.  I’m totally hosting a Scrabble Tournament this winter (with bracket) so took advantage of this one.

Presents!

I bought a birthday present for one of my favorite little people.  I’m feeling a bit guilty about it as it is one of those gifts that can be kind of annoying for the adults involved.  Honestly, a lot of presents for kids are annoying in some capacity; even Legos lose their allure when stepped on with a bare foot.   Regardless of what the parents think, I think I got the little guy a pretty kickass birthday gift.  In addition to catering to his interests, it also hits on a developmental area in which he has “potential for further growth and development.”   At least I didn’t get him a drum set; he would not like that anyway.

Rumors Around the Bottle Warmer…

At work, we sometimes hang around the traditional water cooler, but more often we cluster around the bottle warmer. The word around the warming milk (and the train tracks…and the board books…and the half-eaten crayons…) is that EVERYONE HAS A BELLY BUTTON. Breaking news, I know.

Since the discovery of navels is new and novel, there is some concern that they might not be a permanent. Ergo, the munchkins have appointed themselves Keeper of the Belly Buttons, performing frequent spot checks to insure that no navel absconds. In practical terms, this means that at any place and at any time, a little person might lift my shirt and poke for my belly button. In addition to finding my belly button, there’s also a fair amount of belly (no button) that I hide under my shirt.

Veggie Hazard!

Careful! Not for Kids!

 

Most product recalls are rather boring and predictable: long strings can strangle, machetes can cause cut, fireworks can cause burns… Every once in awhile though, there is a recall that is pretty much completely nonsensical – and it usually cracks me up.  The latest is a laceration hazard connected to ASPARAGUS.  Oh, noes!  Take the asparagus away from the kiddies!  

Fine, so it’s a toy asparagus and it does have wire.  Still, the summary line in my inbox left out that detail, so as far as I am concerned: We all need to be concerned about asparagus lacerations.   Fortunately, I’m willing to live on the edge for somethings, so I will still be enjoying some pasta with asparagus and goat cheese.  Mmm…Happy Fat Kid. 

Aside: The spinach and egg recalls did not even make me smirk.

Book Review: The Nanny Diaries

“Book Review” is probably a generous description, as this is less review and more rant.  It’s not my fault that it’s a poorly-written book.  It is my fault that I read most of it.

I’m a nanny and I like to read.  As such, some people assume I like to read (crappy) books like The Nanny Diaries. Ugh, no.  I tend to read about things like Tudor history, biological weapons, and contemporary politics.  The last three books that I’ve chosen for myself are: Clinton’s Secret Wars: The Evolution of a Commander-in-Chief by Richard T. Sale; Greek Fire, Poison Arrows, and Scorpion Bombs: Biological and Chemical Warfare in the Ancient World by Adrienne Mayor; and The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Recipes from an Accidental Country Girl by Ree Drummond.  The first my dad recommended to me, the second I found via a search (because I am a huge dork), and the third is because I like her website/food.  I’m not opposed to fiction or books about the ins-and-outs of the nanny world; I’m opposed to books that annoy me.