Baconalia Review: Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies with Great Lakes Porter

Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies with Great Lakes Porter

Bacon and chocolate chip cookies with a nice, rich porter. ..sounds like dessert to my face!  I’m currently in the midst of planning a bacon party that (at this point) will focus entirely on baked goods.  For whatever reason, I’m actually trying the recipes ahead of time this round.  Perhaps I am growing up and becoming more responsible or perhaps I just really like to bake and post cookies to friends.  Regardless of the present and the future, these cookies were the first cookies of my bacon cookie past.  These cookies predate my whole “Baconalia” concept and I got the recipe from a friend, rather than from the internet.  Seriously.   The first time I made these cookies I was completely unaware of the internet’s boundless infatuation with bacon.

Big Flats Beer: A Review of a $.04/oz Beer

Big Flats Beer in a Festive Coozy...MADE WITH LOVE!

When my friend Suzy read an article about Walgreens adding a store brand beer, she knew two things: she would be trying it and she would be alerting me, so we would try it together.  My friend Suzy is clearly brilliant – working towards her Ph.D. at a top institution, obviously. 

We are (usually) lucky to live in an area where alcohol is easily and readily available to people of legal drinking age.  Seriously, The Target sells The Spirits, so a person could hypothetically add a couple of handles of Smirnoff and a few suitcases of Bud Light to a Club Wed registry.  Thus, our local Walgreens is one of the many licensed to sell beer, including Big Flats.  At a pre-tax price of $2.99, we licensed ourselves to buy.  Actually, that is an untruth.  Suzy and another friend, Pete-ah bought the beer; I brought brownies I made from a box and craft supplies.  Crafting is a panacea of sorts, so it seemed like a good idea to have at the ready since we were a bit skeptical about chain-pharmacy beer.

I Was Wrong.

I admit it: I was wrong.  I thought that the Budweiser commercial continuance would get all sassy and feature a woman.  (Come on, Bud is owned by InBev, so it’s European – shouldn’t we get a racy commercial?!?)

Nope, it features Cowboy Scraggles, who turns into Cowboy Singalong with a Bud…with a 1971 song, you know, Nixon-era.  Perhaps this was a tribute to bad karaoke?  Budweiser, please focus on the Clydesdales or revert to the frogs.  If you need to shake things up, this is not the way to go.  Nobody in my viewing group was impressed.  Had you gone with a sassy broad?  Well, you might have captivated half the room…

If you want to see the commercial, you can find it here

To Be Continued…Really?!?!

The broadcasts of today’s NFL Divisional Championship games featured a pretty even ratio of game to commercial.  While ad time during the Superbowl is widely hailed as THE commercial showcase in the US (although it’s admittedly a shell of its former self…) I do not doubt that ad space during today’s games also went for a premium. 

That being said, what I DON’T get is the Budweiser ads and their ‘to be continued February 6…” nonsense.  It’s an advertisement.  For Budweiser.  Beer.  At present, the ad plays a pair of womanly cowgirl legs walking into an old-timey, Western bar.  I’m pretty sure I know how this is going to end.  (SPOILER ALERT: With a broad getting a beer.) 

Budweiser, please focus on the Clydesdales and bring back the frogs.  You are not a very good beer and this “to be continued” stuff is not very good advertising.

Baconalia Review: Beef Bacon With Delirium Tremens

beef bacon with delirium tremens

 

Beef bacon is sort of like the East German swim team of bacon.  It’s a bit huskier, a bit hardier, and bit more muscled.  While it’s clearly a cousin of bacon, there’s not much dainty about it and you’d best not offend it in a dark alley.  Whatever though – I am much more interested in eating my bacon than in offending it.  I bought Wellshire Farms beef bacon at my local Whole Foods, so I am sure it is quite ethical.

Unlike turkey bacon, beef bacon renders plenty of fat while cooking.  It cooks down quite a lot actually and I employed some of its fat to get the turkey bacon started.  I totally save my rendered bacon fat (Baconalia 3 Plans!) and found beef bacon fat significantly huskier and muskier than normal bacon.  Since I could tell the difference by smell alone, I did not mix the fats.  What can I say?  I’m a purist of sorts.

Product Recall!

I monitor product recalls because it is my job and because I am Major General Safety.  I am going to win the war against stupid; safety is no accident. 

I get the recall notices for pretty much everything (I’m on the general list) and the recalls pertaining to children’s products twice (I’m on that list too).  Today I got a recall for pajamas, by which I mean I got it twice.  Here’s the defective product:

Toys That Are NOT Fun For Adults – Preschool Edition

I previously pontificated about gifts one might buy for a toddler, that would likely cause the parent(s) to have a tantrum.  Since not everyone (e.g. me) has completed their holiday shopping yet, I thought I’d do another version – this time focusing on what not (or “not”) to buy for the preschool set….

 

Baconalia II Review: Turkey Bacon with Lindeman’s Framboise Lambic

Turkey Bacon with Lindemans Framboise Lambic

One of my long-standing beliefs is that people who claim “turkey bacon is just as good as pork bacon” probably don’t eat much pork bacon.  (Henceforth, pork bacon will be referred to merely as bacon.  Because it is.)  I paired turkey bacon with Lindeman’s Framboise Lambic, a Belgian fruit beer.  Thanksgiving inspired this pairing, hence why I’m posting it now.  I know cranberries are the traditional Thanksgiving fruit, but I think this is a better beer and using the terminology “inspired” allows me a fair bit of leeway for play and fun – both vital to a successful Baconalia.

Toys That Are NOT Fun For Adults – Toddler Edition!



Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat

Please leave a penny in the old man’s hat;

If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do,

If you haven’t got a ha’penny then God Bless You!

 

Christmas is coming…Hanukkah is coming…St. Nick’s Day is coming…basically, a lot days (and series of days) which involve gift giving and gift receiving will soon upon us.  Kids in particular receive a LOT of crap.  Sure, they receive some nice stuff too, but: In my experience, kids get a lot of crap.  Crap that is annoying (to kid and/or others), dangerous, frustrating, fragile, and flat-out soul sucking.  The following is a partial list (based solely on my experience and from my trusted-sources of hearsay) of the most annoying toys.  Ban them from your home and give them to the children of your least-favorite adults!  It boggles me that a market still exists for some of these toys; a lot of shoppers are either passive aggressive or don’t have their own kids.

 

TODDLER EDITION!

To Crock (v)

Recently, a friend hit me up for a definition of “crocking.”  Most simply, crocking is the action of using a crockpot.  Less simply, and more accurately, I gave her this response:

Some people might tell you that crocking isn’t really a word and that it’s the verbitizing of a brand name – a brand name which is probably trademarked.  I’m here to tell you that those people are losers and pick their noses all the time.  Crocking is the cool kids’ version of slow cooking.  It’s a bit more extreme and requires a lot more passion.  Fear not though!  It’s still fantastically energy efficient. 

Slow cooking is what nanas do.  Slooooooooooooow cooking is what the chef on South Park WOULD do.  Crocking is a movement of our time. 

 

Crock on, world, crock on.