To Be Continued…Really?!?!

The broadcasts of today’s NFL Divisional Championship games featured a pretty even ratio of game to commercial.  While ad time during the Superbowl is widely hailed as THE commercial showcase in the US (although it’s admittedly a shell of its former self…) I do not doubt that ad space during today’s games also went for a premium. 

That being said, what I DON’T get is the Budweiser ads and their ‘to be continued February 6…” nonsense.  It’s an advertisement.  For Budweiser.  Beer.  At present, the ad plays a pair of womanly cowgirl legs walking into an old-timey, Western bar.  I’m pretty sure I know how this is going to end.  (SPOILER ALERT: With a broad getting a beer.) 

Budweiser, please focus on the Clydesdales and bring back the frogs.  You are not a very good beer and this “to be continued” stuff is not very good advertising.

Sock Contest: A Trick

clearly he has some nordic heritage

I like clean, although I like the state of clean a lot more than I like the activity of cleaning.  Last Saturday, I invited some friends over for a potluck dinner (more on that another day, probably with pictures).  Unfortunately for me, it’s the time of year of snow and slush and salt and sand; all of which are pretty much hell on my floors.   Just as guests often bring wine or treats, their shoes often bring the quadruple floor assault.  Fortunately for me, my friends are considerate and I am tricky-smart. 

I know I can simply ask people to remove their shoes at the door.  Unfortunately, that is kind of boring and not fun, two adjectives I strive not to have associated with myself.   While I doubt no-shoes-at-my-house is news to any of my buddies, I still like to warn them ahead of time as some of my friends are fancy and coordinated and do things like think about what shoes they ought to wear with an outfit –a nd then actually remember to wear them.  Enter the sock contest.

Dorking Out

Dork Point #1: Today’s date looks like it could be some sort of secret message in binary code: 1/11/11.  

Dork Point #2: I spent a fair amount of time today wondering what 11111 is in binary.

Dork Point #3: I asked Google what 11111 was in binary code.

Dork Point #4: I am blogging about this all.

Dork Point #5: 31 is the decimal conversion of 11111.

Rationalization, Please (Toddler Toys)

Bad decisions can be defended with good arguments.  I’ve personally made some less than stellar choices – three time traffic court defendant!  However, I balance those missteps with some more than stellar rationalizations – three time traffic court WINNER!  As previously listed while I think (know) that there are some nasty toys out there, it’s pretty easy to argue reasons for purchasing and gifting them.  Please note that I am not saying that you ought to purchase them, I’m merely saying that if you happen to purchase them and need to explain yourself…well, basically I’m an enabler.  “It looked like fun” is a pretty lame defense.  If you want to go with a fun line of reasoning, back it up with a relevant opinion – the salesperson, a mom/dad/kid in the aisle said it’s a favorite at their house, your own kid, winning some award, etc.  An “award” sticker on a box is always a good first line of defense.

Toys That Are NOT Fun For Adults – Toddler Edition!



Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat

Please leave a penny in the old man’s hat;

If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do,

If you haven’t got a ha’penny then God Bless You!

 

Christmas is coming…Hanukkah is coming…St. Nick’s Day is coming…basically, a lot days (and series of days) which involve gift giving and gift receiving will soon upon us.  Kids in particular receive a LOT of crap.  Sure, they receive some nice stuff too, but: In my experience, kids get a lot of crap.  Crap that is annoying (to kid and/or others), dangerous, frustrating, fragile, and flat-out soul sucking.  The following is a partial list (based solely on my experience and from my trusted-sources of hearsay) of the most annoying toys.  Ban them from your home and give them to the children of your least-favorite adults!  It boggles me that a market still exists for some of these toys; a lot of shoppers are either passive aggressive or don’t have their own kids.

 

TODDLER EDITION!

To Crock (v)

Recently, a friend hit me up for a definition of “crocking.”  Most simply, crocking is the action of using a crockpot.  Less simply, and more accurately, I gave her this response:

Some people might tell you that crocking isn’t really a word and that it’s the verbitizing of a brand name – a brand name which is probably trademarked.  I’m here to tell you that those people are losers and pick their noses all the time.  Crocking is the cool kids’ version of slow cooking.  It’s a bit more extreme and requires a lot more passion.  Fear not though!  It’s still fantastically energy efficient. 

Slow cooking is what nanas do.  Slooooooooooooow cooking is what the chef on South Park WOULD do.  Crocking is a movement of our time. 

 

Crock on, world, crock on.

My Head Shows My Age

I “did” my hair a little differently than usual today, which meant some normally hidden hairs made their way to the top layer.  My normally response to non-conformist hairs is to pull them out.  Today, however, they received a reprieve as I was tired and their numbers were strong.  Instead, I am going to try to remarket them to myself.  Here are some ideas:

1.) Sparkly hairs – sort of like hair glitter for the over-30 crowd.   (Except I had my first sparkly hair in eighth grade.)

2.) SHINY hairs – who doesn’t like shiny things?  Shiny like money or jewelry.

3.) Open-minded hairs – let the top of my head be a symbol of racial equality.

4.) Way to get a bus seat hairs – the sign says to stand for the elderly.

I think I might be onto something.  Interestingly, the chemicals from hair coloring did not inspire any of these ideas.  I am just not ready to go there.

Five Weak Excuses For My Silence

So, um, I haven’t been posting much lately.  I’ve started a few posts, but haven’t gotten around to finishing them yet.  Here are five poor excuses for my silence, along with their debunktion.

1.) Oh, I am so busy!  I started a new job and it involves all sorts of new job-y stuff.  Yeah, a new part-time job.

2.) I am searching for other jobs AND studying to open educational opportunities. True, but I am doing those things when I’m not frittering my time away.

3.) Oh, but I am so tired!  So tired!  So tired!  LE TIRED.  Sounds like time to better strategize my coffee and soda opportunities.   While I am an eight hours per night person, there are sixteen other hours each day.   I work little more than sixteen hours per work.

4.) Nothing exciting is going on.  This is different from usual how?

5.) I’m hungry.  Great.  How many food-related posts have I started?

Five Good Things

Except for the dramatic decrease in my income, unemployment really suits me.  I did snag a nice part-time job and am actively looking at ways to get myself back to full-time employment…just maybe not the 60+ hrs/week sort of full-time employment.  While I’m partially-employed, good things have been a-happenin’…

1.) Tonight I had to pull off the bike path due to eye-bug issue.  This is not the good thing part.  Some random guy pulled off right behind me to ask if I was “all right” or “needed any help.”  He was probably around my age and looked like a viking that J.Crew reimagined.   (Oops that I thanked him and sent him on his way – I would have been more fine with his phone number!)

2.) I found my secret stash of Starbucks cards and free drink coupons.  Score!  Now I can vary my study locations…with treats.

3.) I might have unintentionally dramatically reduced my caffeine intake.  I’m trying to drink more water (I’d like to pretend it’s for my health, but it’s more because I am poor and my tap water is potable.*) and as part of that, neglected to make coffee (ethical coffee is EXPENSIVE) and avoided soda ALL DAY.  I have not had caffeine in almost 36 hours.  That’s pretty much a post-womb record.

4.) Neither my driver’s license photo nor my passport photo are awful.  They’re are both actually pretty all right.  While neither is new, I spent some time admiring my ids earlier today, so it’s topical.

5.) Football has officially started.  I don’t have a team, so I never get overly disappointed.   I just like watching sports.

*Really WordPress?  “Potable” is not a word?  Man, am I going to rock out on the GREs.

Veggie Hazard!

Careful! Not for Kids!

 

Most product recalls are rather boring and predictable: long strings can strangle, machetes can cause cut, fireworks can cause burns… Every once in awhile though, there is a recall that is pretty much completely nonsensical – and it usually cracks me up.  The latest is a laceration hazard connected to ASPARAGUS.  Oh, noes!  Take the asparagus away from the kiddies!  

Fine, so it’s a toy asparagus and it does have wire.  Still, the summary line in my inbox left out that detail, so as far as I am concerned: We all need to be concerned about asparagus lacerations.   Fortunately, I’m willing to live on the edge for somethings, so I will still be enjoying some pasta with asparagus and goat cheese.  Mmm…Happy Fat Kid. 

Aside: The spinach and egg recalls did not even make me smirk.